Family Tree

Monday was a hard day for me. Why? Because every now and then I let the girl side of me take over and I start bawling my eye out for no reason. Okay, maybe I had a reason. I had talked to my mom that morning about everything going on with her and my dad, and it wasn't good. It was the first time I had heard my mom say she wanted a divorce and was done. See, I've always thought it would happen and I knew it was coming - but my emotions still got the best of me. Thankfully, Brandon left for an hour or so, and while he was gone I got some good crying out. I guess even though I know my parents are better off not together,  it was still really tough to hear about a marriage ending. Especially an eternal marriage. All growing up I was taught that families can be together forever, and I never expected that mine would separate. I do know that Heavenly Father has a plan, and I know that we are still a forever family, even know it doesn't seem like it right now. Reminds me of the song by Cherie Call called "Family Tree".

And in the end I don't know how it will all be sorted out

All I know is that the circle won't be broken

There will be hands to hold, and there will be love unfeigned

And it will bridge the gaps between all the things we can't explain

But in the meantime

God will tend the broken branches of the trees

And as eternity goes on this will be

Because our love is a circle in this human family

And God can mend the broken branches

And He will tend the broken branches

Because He loves all the branches

Of His family tree

I guess those lyrics explain how I know everything will work out, but ah this is still harder than I imagined it would be. I really do love my dad, and I have worked so hard to improve my relationship with him in the last couple of years. I really hope I am able to keep it through all of this. I know this isn't going to be an easy year. I'm grateful that my mom is staying close to the gospel, I know our family is still being blessed and watched over. I guess I'm still human and it's okay to cry. I hope that throughout this year, Isaac will know he's loved and I hope he doesn't come out of this hating my mother. I hope my dad doesn't come out super bitter and will know I do love him. I hope the girls aren't scarred and still enjoy their childhood.  I'm grateful to know of the Plan of Salvation. I'm going to do my best to be obedient, so that I might have those blessings with my future family.